No one can find the rewind button. Most addicts were emotionally abused as children YET they have no idea what emotional abuse even looks like. Therapy works and so do the 12 steps if done deep, deep. Breath friends, just breath. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
If you Can’t See that you Have Guilt & Shame…then you will not overcome Guilt & Shame.
The hardest part about being a believer in Jesus with all the guilt trips religion passes on to the people is to accept myself just as God made me. Imperfect. If my life is manageable then I am at peace. But I will not be perfect as long as I am in the flesh. The closer I get to perfection the more false pride and judgement rear their ugly heads. The further I get from perfect the more self destruction tries to enter then there’s the self condemnation. The solutions, believe it or not are in the 12 Steps when I include God The Father/Jesus my Higher Power in my step-work.
A life of the beat down of self requires reprogramming. Step Eleven serves well to reprogram the mind if we include positive affirmation of truth repeatedly, over and over. We must reprogram the “I am bad & wrong” into “I am a blessed and worthy child of God”.
This is a file to be opened or downloaded. The book is free written at the height of my own recovery. I have been sober since 2006 and the file shows many of my best lessons in meditation reading form.
False Pride is One of my Dominate Temptations of that I confess.
If Staying Sober is what you need to learn today…do not read this article. I have many many other articles on how to stay sober. I have been sober since 2006. That’s 14 years or so. Ten of which I have taken some kind of doctor prescribed non narcotic drug. Be clear I don’t take opiates, that would cause me dysfunctional addiction and horrible consequences.
They are merely Reprogrammed. They Grasp their emotionally erected walls hewn of Brick and Glass, Brick & Glass.
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What is the difference between reprogramming and healing? Healing from addiction involves both emotional recovery and the reprogramming of mental habits, thought processes and results in a new self image. If healed they are no longer defensive
In this day and age for those saved souls who know Jesus the most important prayer we can say may be “Father, let me NOT be deceived”. Below is the video that helped open my eyes to The Great Deception of TV.
Please watch the video above then read the short story or visa versa.
I want to tell you a story of heartfelt truth. It’s not a made up story but I may use some allegories. Picture a little girl. Little Elior is her name. Little Elior has parents who love her but they know little about emotional nurturing. They don’t know how confidence and self worth are built because, well they have little of their own…they punish by guilting and shaming. They punish by violence. Even the father “spanks” little Elior at a very young innocent age. Naturally little Elior believes if her father hits her she deserves to be hit. And the messages she repeatedly got from school, & parents were that she, not her actions were bad and wrong.
Self Loathing is by design Wake up to the world we live in
What this article really is, is my great awakening catalogued for you to see in plain sight. This is 4 years of research and revelation I give you. It’s very scary and very true. Pray for faith so you can bear it.
NEWS FLASH! Satan IS the ruler of this world and YOU were/are an addict by design. The more abuse you endured in the formative and teen years the more likely your calling from God IS. Were you targeted? Did the voices in your head tell you “your a piece of shit”? The dark side fears you because God will give you POWER & MIGHT if you seek Him.
You are not ultimately responsible for who you were as an addict, or who you have become. But you ARE responsible for learning, & changing. Please, knowing the “WHY” behind addiction does not change the solutions whatsoever. Neither will knowing “why” keep you sober.
SKIP AROUND BY PARAGRAPH HEADINGS. SCROLL TO THE PREDICTION.
Mandela Effect Scripture Change easily adopted as truth is it not?
Sleep on lost sheep sleep on. Perhaps is was Jesus Himself who changed this KJVB scripture from “awaken the time is at hand” to “sleep-on” as if Jesus would encourage blindness and spiritual complacency. As if Jesus would encourage the destruction of a precious soul. For the lost sheep will not awaken until after certain events occur. When they awaken it shall be the final harvest and if repentance is unavailable to a man at that time it shan’t be good.
THESE ARE THE SONS OF **&^%% WHO PAID SOME BLACK HAT SEO TO SPAM MY WEBSITE. HERE ARE THEIR NEFARIOUS LINKS. They sent SPAM from “firstname.lastname@example.org” SPAMMERS at email@example.com. This means that these people wanted their website advertised and resorted to hiring SEO who in turn use bots that blast innocent website comment sections with these needy links. Then we wp developers have to either delete all these or get overloaded with spam.
They posted all these on just one contact form post
Addiction is not a Disease, but rather it is a spiritual malady and force of habit. It is a poor self image and the presence of a broken heart. Our heart can be healed and our habits can be changes. We won’t relapse if we take the time to respect ourselves enough to realize not only did we hurt others but others hurt us deeply. The certainly taught us as children that we were inferior and bad. So we spent the rest of our days trying to prove that it wasn’t true while our own hearts believed that it was.
What can I say? I have been passionate about recovery for years. I made my Recovery Farmhouse websites back at around 6 or 7 years sober. Since then I have written hundreds of articles and engage in numerous Facebook group posts. I have worked in AA for years on end being a member of a home-group and being a sponsor. I have held positions in my homegroup such and chairman, secretary, and the like.
Why New Age concepts protect the criminal ruling elite so well. Can you say “agenda 21”? Can you say “brain washing” and can you say….”KOOL”? The concept of “kool” is one of the most significant mind control tools in the United States today. Once through TV and MEDIA the ruling elite have established an ideal as “un-kool”, THEY HAVE US. Example: ‘Negativity’.
The Man who Hides his heart away behind a mask sickens his own soul
Children are not born hating themselves. They are taught they are wrong at a young age by propaganda that produces self loathing. From that point on we commence to fixing what we feel is wrong, OUR OWN HEART’S VOICE, and the “ME” our truth and our identity. This perception of “I am wrong I am different” is by design.
Sounds like a rationalization, to say, “programmed for addiction” but it’s a truth and realization. Sounds as if it were said by a struggling addict who hasn’t been sober long that we must quickly discount and recite, “some are sicker than others”.
read on and watch the video below to see how programming occurs in humans. It wasn’t until over seven years sober that I realized what formed my personality toward addiction. It wasn’t until more than eleven years sober that I realized the emotional indoctrination that happens to all public school students including our parents.
If you don’t know the true reason for addiction just make up a reason and run with it. After all, alcoholics are skilled at the art of denial and bullshit. We fool ourselves first then we fool the world.
Let’s face it recovering alcoholics are commonly desperate for a valid cause to pin their miseries on. Sometimes in the form of co dependency and blame. Other times in the form of playing up a tragedy that really doesn’t affect us. We jump at the chance for a valid process of grief…seldom does anyone ever accept and validate our true grief if and when we have the balls and self honesty to find out what that is. Most recovering addicts have pushed their emotions so far away from their heart that they grasp the “disease concept” in order to validate their reason for drinking and drugging. When truth is IT’S ALL EMOTIONAL. Very few addicts ever adapt more than the “textbook answer (Big Book)” for WHY DID YOU DRINK CORROSIVELY BROTHER? It’s not our fault we can seldom answer this question with a true to life cause.
More will be revealed. I am watching to see as my most informative Youtube channels of truth seekers are systematically deleted. Lets hope I Info-wars is wrong about this and that Google does have our best interest at heart.
“More will be revealed, and more to come”
Mike Adams’, The Health Ranger YouTube channel has been terminated.
God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and The way of life. May I do Thy will always!
A DOOR KNOB IS NOT A POWER GREATER THAN YOURSELF THEREFORE IT IS NOT A “HIGHER POWER”
We want to choose a god deserving of our faith not an inanimate object that has less power than the man who installed it into the door. Why not seek God with our heart in prayer? Seek and we will find. Could it be our resentment, pain, and hurt is much too deep to even consider seeking a god whom we feel is the reason we have suffered? Or is our desire to control all things too strong in us to risk relinquishing control? Our pain and consequences of active addiction must be more intense than our fear of the unknown and giving up control. Continue reading “Who is your Higher Power?”
There was a blessed spirit in Heaven it could fly; it was completely sustained by the light of God that was readily available in the beyond where it existed. We will call the blessed spirit Elior. Elior could travel from realm to realm, planet to planet; dimension to dimension he could take any shape he wanted. The realm that housed the seven Earths (God did create seven) were only one of the realms that Elior had toured. There was a realm called “Ecstasy”, the realm of “Wisdom”, the powerful realm of “Love”,
We don’t just quit feeling fear or pain in recovery but rather we find ways to let it out that work. Pretending I don’t feel hurt or fear because of AA status quo that says “If you are afraid your not working a good program” is bullshit. WE DON’T STOP FEELING. What we do is learn what to do with the feelings that bother us when they crop up. The same man will drink again and dry drunks have no idea how to get real about their hearts voice. Use the feelings poster attached to identify feelings in early recovery. Every feeling happens because of a valid reason.
I do get emotionally triggered. I am not a brick wall. Tuff girl act is not synonymous with recovery. I am not on the streets smoking crack and trying to survive. I don’t have to put on an act of bad-ass anymore. I didn’t come to AA to continue wearing a mask of deception. I am a human woman. I have feelings that make me feel vulnerable. I know what to do with negative feelings when they happen because I was taught to share, write, use expression by exercise, beat the bag, beat the bed. This stuff works to get anger and hurt out. Also honest non attacking conversation about “what happened and how it made me feel” is therapeutic to my soul. If I just blame others for my whip-lash feelings my heart won’t heal. Recovery starts with prayer first and on going.
Fear crops up, shame, guilt resurfaces at times, and anger is a human emotion and part of me as is pain, hurt, insecurity, inferiority, fear of what people think and the rest.
Fight or flight tends to run rampant in addicts. Defense Mode isn’t intended for entertainment. Defense and attack should not be used to gain fake self worth. Defense isn’t something I should take lightly to use at the drop of a hat. Sarcasm is defense mode and dishonest.
Recovery 101 “CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES” I ask myself…Am I in ‘CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER’? Or has my ego been triggered by the hoards of baggage I may be carrying around.
Every fourth step should include MY FEAR, SHAME, and GUILT. Step five should include the stuff that makes me squirm to keep it secret. Every Step Nine should say “I was wrong and am sorry”. When I clear the wreckage and make amends (including pay-back amends when applicable) it clears my head to see more clearly and not be so apt to hit defense or fight or flight mode for things that are NOT ‘CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER’.
Feelings are real. If most of us had not been taught to shut down healthy emotions early on our natural emotional processes would not have backed up in us. We would not have gotten sick. Getting to core reasons for emotional triggers and learning I am emotionally constipated is part of getting well. If I am too busy defending I will never get to the part of recovery where I accept myself and am doing a legitimate step 6-7. COPYING THE OTHER GUYS WORK/paper ON THIS DOESN’T WORK. It’s our own heart we need to expose to the light of God and of Man.
If your sponsor isn’t empathic and can’t relate to your fifth step he is the wrong sponsor. Fake step work makes for fake recovery. We no longer have to hide who we are if we get the right AA fellows around us who are real also.