Relapse Sucks

Relapse Feels Horrible
Here is a great solution for the remorse. It’s one little assignment that is tried and true…if we can just pick up a pencil and paper to do it!!!
Relapse brings up a lot of guilt and shame which sucks, however it is the perfect time to get some serious baggage off of our heart. Building self-esteem happens when we take one right action at a time. First thing, write core feelings. Write the self-loathing and the feelings of utter worthlessness you feel. Example: I feel like a failure, I hate myself for the things I have done to me and others (children especially). Write the fears associated with thoughts like: I let down my fellows, what will they think of me now? I want people to like me but now they will know I am a failure. Write all the society fears associated with relapse. Write the shame of re-entering the rooms after a relapse and what that does to your reputation and how it makes you feel. GET TO THE CORE FEELINGS THAT MOST EVERY RELAPSER FEELS UNLESS THEY ARE A SOCIOPATH or can’t get honest.

Continue reading “Relapse Sucks”

From Recovering to Recovered

When is it Okay for an Addict to Move from “Recovering” into “Recovered”?

If we believe we are emotionally and spiritually healed and have done much work on ourselves in those areas with God’s help, and do not want to drink. We may be “recovered”  for real.  To thine own self be true.

This is the Foreword to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous as it appeared in the first printing of the first edition in 1939

“WE, OF Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics PRECISELY HOW WE HAVE RECOVERED is the main purpose of this book. For them, we hope these pages will prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary.”

 

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Adult Children of Alcoholics can be a Place of Healing

If we are willing and honest.

Scroll to the mp3 audio below

Please enjoy the speaker meeting recording below, a testimony from Beth P. of ACOA.

There is a lot of core level work on addiction and core issue causes of addiction going on in ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics a 12 step program) according to fellow and friend Beth P.
Beth is moderator and peacemaker in my favorite Facebook recovery group  “Friends of Bill and Bob” to join the fb recovery group click this link

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2247449301/

CLICK ARROW BELOW FOR AUDIO OF BETH P.

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The Insanity Prayer

Sing this song to the tune of “My favorite things” in The Sound of Music…or Mary Poppins if you like.

https://youtu.be/QhfGnwj9FIs
“The Insanity Prayer”  Words

Red legged spiders that waddle while walking.
Don’t clip my wings while I’m sitting here talking.
Fudge covered caramels of candy and creams.
Soft quilted dreams of dysfunctional things.

Rough sober drunks with opinions abounding.
Nodding in chairs while on drugs they are drowning.
Fierce, angry housewives with husbands to blame.
Waving a butcher knife, they are insane.

(Chorus)
when your friend slips, when there’s lost dreams.
When you health’s destroyed.
Simply recite the insanity prayer and then you won’t beee________ ah______noid.

Taking Viagra and drinking my prune juice.
Eating through straws wishing I had some vermouth.
Tall tainted hookers are lovely to me.
Little do they know but money they neeeeeed.

(chorus)
When I see, I’m decomposing, when I’m old and crazed.
I simply recite the insanity prayer and then I will be_____-ah-mazed.

 

Deryck Whibley on Alcohol Addiction

Deryck Whibley on Alcohol Addiction From the “People Music”

website (link here)

 

While Sum 41 fans knew frontman Deryck Whibley for his catchy punk-rock anthems and electric live shows, behind the scenes, the singer found himself battling with some serious demons — including a nearly fatal alcohol addiction.

 

Now healthy and happily remarried, the musician — who was married to Avril Lavigne before their 2009 split — opened up to PEOPLE about hitting rock bottom, his journey to sobriety and Sum 41’s new album, 13 Voices, which Whibley and the band will be touring behind through March 2017.  READ MORE HERE

 

How has the whole process of getting out there and performing changed since your recovery?

“God Is Either All or [He-She-It] Is Nothing”

 

https://recoveryfarmhouse.com

I heard a women at a meeting tonight share this: “When I expressed fear my sponsor told me that God is either everything or He’s nothing.” The sponsor made a typical example of the extreme thinking, closed mindedness and lack of balance addicts often experience. Why do I disagree with the statement? Because: THERE IS A WHOLE LOTTA GOD WHO LIVES BETWEEN “ALL AND NOTHING”.

Continue reading ““God Is Either All or [He-She-It] Is Nothing””

Why does HIGH FASHION often imitate LOW-LIFE? And irritating status quo’s

Why does HIGH FASHION often imitate LOW-LIFE?  And some thought on annoying status quos.

mj-crotch-2
MJ artistically grabs crotch.
chris-brown
Who IS Chris Brown anyway?
mjcrotch
So Artistic!
20160806_185157 (2)
Heroin Addict Model Look

Captain Kirk and Numba-One are highly ashamed of the extremely low-riding ghetto shorts and the penis coddling associated with it in Earth 2016.  They are strictly tighty-whitie boys in high rise pants.  And they have that right by God!

Continue reading “Why does HIGH FASHION often imitate LOW-LIFE? And irritating status quo’s”

Although I Search Myself it’s Always Someone Else I See _______Elton John

Addicts are really good at one thing…”the game of denial”.  I blinded myself for many years.

Am I an addict?  Addiction is a symptom.  What other symptoms do I have going on that may reveal to me what my addiction was really about.

In a crowded room full of people would I be attracted to the sickest person in the room?  Have my relationships been riddled with abuse and betrayal?  Do I have a problems communicating on a respectful level when I am upset?  Do I fear my feelings because they make me intensely miserable?  Do I have a hard time sharing my fears and opening up to people?  Do I have a hard time sharing my most intimate feelings, hopes, and dreams?  Do I have ANXIETY, ANGER, DEPRESSION, LOW SELF ESTEEM?  What about mental health problems such as depression, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), PANIC ATTACKS, self harm, suicidal thoughts.  Or learning and earning difficulties, lower educational attainment, difficulties in communicating behavioral problems including anti-social behavior, criminal behavior?

Continue reading “Although I Search Myself it’s Always Someone Else I See _______Elton John”

I am not Responsible When Anyone Anywhere…..

The Responsibility Pledge borders on a breach in the principle that AA was built on “there are no dues or fees for AA membership”.

The pledge though well-meaning is a contradiction to our AA founding principle of no dues and especially NO HIDDEN FEES!

The advantages and core level recovery that doing service work gives us is vital for us to stay sober.  Telling our story and chairing meetings, going to jails and institutions to carry the message, sponsorship, helping others all these things carve out our very self worth and emotional healing that we desperately need in recovery.

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You Must have Mistook me for Someone Who Gives a Shit

Truly some people who really do give a shit have no idea or ability to show it in a Loving way.

At least that’s what I am hoping considering the actions of many people in the world today.

We have all heard the sarcastic comment that rolls off the tongues of those who want to make known to us all that they don’t care about us or anyone.  They pretend they cannot be hurt because they are emotionally bullet-proof.   I don’t know about you but I have made peace with the fact, that I am human and like to know I am cared for, liked, and loved.     Thing is, with this awareness of the vulnerable human condition of my own heart comes more unpleasant truths.

Continue reading “You Must have Mistook me for Someone Who Gives a Shit”

WHAT IS THE MESSAGE HIDDEN IN THE MESSAGE?

When I watch the news or read ads on my Facebook, twitter, ebay,  or any other media input, even when I have conversations with other people…I ask myself ;  What do they want?  What are they really saying and why?  For the last ten years since the onslaught of social media developers have been working hard for powerful people.  They have been finding and perfecting new ways to PROFILE YOU and we the people. What they are doing with this mind power is open to the highest bidder.  Money is power and the powerful want more power.   Just be aware.  Choose your battles, don’t let battles choose you.  The powerful are now armed with the ability to single out huge groups of people to react in the way they want.  These wealthy billionaires can control not only Facebook America but also Facebook Europe, Facebook Russia, Facebook, Twitter, of the entire world.  Sure people will not easily cross moral boundaries but, now it’s evident where which boundaries lie and where they don’t.  Think about what even a small percentage of mind control on global levels can do.   See mind control techniques here.

14 PROPAGANDA TECHNIQUES

Domestic Violence Is Epidemic in the U.S.& Beyond

Beyond the U.S. in many places domestic violence is not considered a crime   (see definition and info)

see original article now.

The number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of American women who were murdered by current or ex male partners during that time was 11,766. That’s nearly double the amount of casualties lost during war.

Women are much more likely to be victims of intimate partner violence with 85 percent of domestic abuse victims being women and 15 percent men. Too many women have been held captive by domestic violence — whether through physical abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse or a combination of all three.

We are inundated with news stories about domestic violence , from athletes beating their significant others in public elevators or in their own homes to celebrities publicly abusing their girlfriends. This problem is not one that will go away quickly or quietly.

As Domestic Violence Awareness Month comes to an end, discussions about intimate partner abuse and its horrible repercussions should not. In an attempt to illustrate the gravity of abuse all genders (but largely women) face in the U.S., we rounded up 30 statistics on domestic violence.

Domestic violence is not a singular incident, it’s an insidious problem deeply rooted in our culture — and these numbers prove that.

Read the staggering statistics original article at the Huffington Post

READ MORE!

More statistics article here:

Cocaine Trauma Deliverance

I grew up in the 70s in Tampa. There was Cocaine everywhere. Long story short I became deeply addicted to injecting ether based Cocaine. After a few years and a few overdoses I ended up with the worst paranoia and fear I can imagine. I had one overdose where I died and was brought back with CPR. I literally went to death and hell and a place of bondage that I could not get out of. Thank God I was given CPR it was like clawing my way out of Hell. I did not come back easy. After that I was plagued with anxiety attacks and paralyzed with panic from my experiences with Cocaine and the things I did while using it. I ran, I got as far away from my enablers as I could. I then desperately sought God in any place people worship. I found what I was looking for by His Grace.

Continue reading “Cocaine Trauma Deliverance”

Addiction & Recovery

Learning cleaver cliché’s, a new key word AA pirate vocabulary, and the ability to repress resentment and shame will never be the same as the emotional sobriety induced by doing a Higher Power directed, honest, and thorough working of the 12 steps.  However, make no mistake oftentimes it appears to be the same.  The thing is if the inside of the cup doesn’t get washed regularly (4th,10th, 11th steps) the taste will not be so sweet.  Sometimes the taste of life still ain’t so sweet even with having done all the work.  There will always be something that is hard to put into the acceptance basket of the heart.  But the fewer things we try to control the easier our day will be.  Hence….God Grant us the Serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can and wisdom to know the difference.

WHY DO HUMANS WANT TO PLAY GOD?  Humans, while human will never be capable of seeing things in an absolute pure light.  Why?  There is a veil of carnality over human beings which pollute the pure view.  Looking through the eyes of Love is the pure view.  Gazing through the throngs of fear is the view marred with all sorts of grasping means for self survival according to false prides dictate.  “Oh yee of little faith!” cries our self exacerbation.  “If only our self-image could be fixed and then re-implanted in our hearts” we think to ourselves, as we quickly look around for another unsuspecting human to tag the label “bad & wrong” on.  Ohhhh if only we ourselves could see us through the eyes of Love.  If even for a moment…we could see us as God sees us, a pure lighted glow of innocence surrounded with an aura of color so soft it could only be spiritual and celestial.

Continue reading “Addiction & Recovery”

Emotional Disorder Disclaimer

Copyright Disclaimer

Recovery Farmhouse is not an Alcoholics Anonymous company and does not use A.A. Logos or trademarks that are copyrighted.  RFH is a sole proprietorship based in the United States therefore not subject to copyright laws to the extent of other countries where the Big book “Alcoholics Anonymous” is concerned.  A.A. does not hold the copyrights on certain editions of the Big Book in the U.S. and has not for a long time. (Reference.-http://www.orange-papers.org/forum/node/3620)     Any AA literature quoted

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People Are Often Bitches!

People Can Be Ruthless at Times

With no consideration for the future                                                                       or Karmic Law.  BUYER BEWARE!

So sorry to be negative but I need to vent.  My daughter and me got ripped off by an “Acceptance Now” salesman at HHGregg. Usually the deal on rental/purchase agreements are you pay in 90 days and there is little to no interest.  “Just like Cash” they advertise.  I have purchased from them before and everything went smoothly.  I paid the balance off in time and had little interest.  However that waswit a different sales person.

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What does it mean to “FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT”?

WE CAN CHANGE THE WAY WE FEEL.  “MOVE A MUSCLE; CHANGE A THOUGHT.”

What this means is live your life.  Get up go to work, go to meetings, work with your sponsor, chair meetings, work the steps, take showers, eat food, exercise, have fun and all the rest of the recovery life stuff that we do as members of life and sobriety.  It means don’t let our feelings paralyze us.  Even though we may feel like we are falling from the highest building in existence we don’t let-on.  Even though we feel like a vase ready to crack we put one foot in front of the other and know that if we move a muscle we will change our thoughts.  It doesn’t mean we should repress our feelings.  On the contrary repressing intense feelings will make us sick and eventually kill us.    No we should write down and share our intense feelings courageously.  But in the midst of the greatest fears we have ever felt, we continue to help others and live our life.

30 Famous Actors and Actresses Who Have Battled Drug Addiction and Alcoholism

Who says sobriety’s not fun?  (two Cougars and a Tigris!)PTDC0010

From Drugabuse.com

1. Drew Barrymore

Former child star Drew Barrymore’s drug abuse in her teenage years found her controversial fame, including two trips to rehab that motivated her to get back on track with her career.

2. Mary-Kate Olsen

Mary-Kate Olsen“Full House” actress Mary-Kate Olsen suffered with anorexia and a related cocaine addiction that led her to rehab. The Olsen twins have since designed a $55,000 pill-covered handbag.

3. Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay LohanOnce the adorable child star in the original film, The Parent Trap, Lindsay Lohan has since lost control of her life, including cocaine and alcohol abuse, DUI arrests, jail time and multiple stints in rehab.

4. Tila Tequila

tila-tequila2Bisexual reality dating star Tila Tequila is known for her publicity stunts and drug use.

5. Mischa Barton

Mischa Barton“The O.C.” star Mischa Barton has gotten more press for drug use than for acting. Her DUI and marijuana possession have kept her in the spotlight.

 

SEE THE OF THE ARTICLE HERE/FAMOUS PEOPLE’S STRUGGLE & PICTURES AT DRUG ABUSE . COM

Imagine you are in a relationship for 10 years

Imagine Your in a Relationship for 10 Years
Poll of the Week

Imagine you are in a relationship for 10 years and all is going well.
There is romance, trust and love between you both. Then all the
sudden you meet someone new and you cannot get them off your
mind. There is an unstoppable attraction that is driving you nuts.

Hammock Buddha hails from Japan and he just posed that question
in the polls. The reaction has been nothing short of extraordinary so
please visit the link above to login and kindly share your thoughts!

Find the answers to this question here…click now….

http://spiritualnetworks.com/poll/10062/you-are-in-relationship-for-10-yrs-all-is-going-well-there-is-romance-there/

 

Addicts, Alcoholics and Manipulation

THE FINE ART OF “MANIPULATION”

Most humans are skilled in the art of emotional manipulation even if we are unaware of it.  Thing is, we have learned controlling people works better through dishonest means rather than the honest approach.  Unfortunately that makes for sick relationships and a loss of Love.  And let’s face it AA and NA are full of dysfunctional relationships.  Unfortunately sick guidance is rampant in AA but it’s still one of the best ways to get sober.  That is, if you also seek God and get some empathic therapy along with it.  And absolutely read the Big Book for yourself and go to step study and same sex meetings.

One reason we do the 12 steps is so we can become aware of our character patterns both healthy and unhealthy.  Oftentimes active addicts have enablers who help us get our much desired dope and money.  We may feel reliant on enablers for something.  Therefore we often feel we must handle our enablers in a way they will react and behave as we want them to.  We are skilled in the art of getting a desired reaction from our “foe” per-say.

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“Bring Me the Horizon’s” Oli Sykes Interviews and Video

OLI SYKES: “Bollocks” to addiction’s, political correctness
Click here to SKIP COMMENTARY
I will be candid.  I never heard of this guy or his band “Bring me the Horizon’s”until today however, I like the way he thinks.  And what this title means (Bollocks) in England’s terminology is basically; “Screw addiction’s political correctness”

YES!  A man after my own heart.  He does not see addiction as a disease…for him anyway.  And even better he calls for a  “celebration of depression.”  He isn’t saying that depression is great and we should all band together and pray for more of it.  No, rather he is saying feel your feelings rather than trying to chronically fend them off and repress.  We need no longer fear our feelings but rather let them flow through us.  To do that we must accept them.  I can relate!  This theory is the foundation of healing.  Maybe that is why he doesn’t see addiction as a disease because he realizes YOU CAN HEAL AND MOVE ON.

Picture this, a large Martini glass 6ft tall, green olive, plastic sword, and lots of Vodka and Vermouth.  On the rim is me in a pink tutu, doing a balancing act.   A long balancing pole and 12 meetings a week are the only thing preventing my decent into the poignant liquid by which I would get an instant intoxication followed by a 12 hour ride to the same place I left on my sobriety date ten years ago.   SCREW THE DISEASE CONCEPT sorry folks I am not buying that pig to market.  Granted, disease is a safe concept for the first oh___say 6 or 7 years of healing but after that…if I still need 4 meetings a week then I have not learned to live the program of 12 steps and have barked I mean balked at outside help.  Please allow yourself to cry all the tears you stuffed down all those years of addiction.  Yes I am saying crying for two or three years pretty regularly, share, journal, make a God box  basically allow yourself some emotional diarrhea to heal.  Your heart is not a tough girl.

Oliver Sykes

The Interview on Video SEE HERE from APTV’s Ryan J. Downey

Musician Oli Sykes speaks about his critics- “They want you to say what’s in line with what their experience is like.  They say like, “How dare you say drug addiction is not a disease.”  I am telling you, it’s NOT, that’s what I think.  Addiction is not a disease!”  says Oli Sykes, perturbed that people are offended by his own experience.  He shared how he overcame his addiction to drugs and some people were offended because he believes addiction is NOT a disease.

Band “Bring Me the Horizon’s” Oli Sykes on Depression and Inspiration from Louis C.K.

Oliver says; “People have become so scared just to be alone with their feelings and their thoughts. And I realized that, for me, a massive part in sorting myself out was accepting what I’m feeling and just sort of letting myself experience it.  the whole album’s about the celebration of depression—not saying, ‘Yeah, it’s a good thing to be depressed,’ but that it’s better to accept depression rather than trying to block out the darkness. It’s about accepting it, accepting who you are, and accepting what life is.”

THE DAY THE SILENCE ENDS

 

It’s Time.

On October 4, 2015 in Washington, DC more than 600 organizations from around the world will gather in a show of solidarity and collective force. Together we can help the 22 million Americans with addiction, stand up for the 23 million more in recovery, and urgently act to save the 350 lives lost each day. The free event will feature live musical performances from Joe Walsh, Steven Tyler, Sheryl Crow, The Fray, Jason Isbell, Aloe Blacc, John Rzeznik and more!

https://www.facingaddiction.org/https://twitter.com/FacingAddiction?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

A Non-Theists View of AA

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE ARTICLE “The God of Coincidence.” TAKEN FROM AAagnostica website

According to the AAagnostica website most AAs believe in “a god of coincidence”  because God reveals It’s power in what seem to be coincidences yet AAs believe there are no coincidences.  Therefore when things happen just the way they are supposed to apparently God is working in our lives.

Tom P writes:       “The dominant AA creed I have found in meetings and in the Grapevine is that there is a God who is always with us, watching us, and He sometimes arranges coincidences that have good outcomes, or, if something bad happens, He allows it to happen in order to teach us important lessons, or because it leads to personal growth. ”          Yet, it seems that if members’ wish to belong to the AA club they adopt the dominant AA creed of the “God of Coincidence.” How else can you explain that otherwise intelligent and savvy people would discount the obvious explanation that coincidences are inevitable, and positive coincidences are more likely for those who are drug-free, grateful, willing, and working to overcome their selfishness. Just as members of a church accept the sect’s religious teachings in order to belong, and show this acceptance by professing their faith, members of AA seem to look for positive happenstances in their lives, and attribute them to God in order to (unconsciously of course) cement their feeling that they truly belong with AA      

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Member and Author Tom P calls himself a “non-theist” What is a non-theist?

Theist: God exists.
Nontheist: Prove it.

Seems that the Atheists just want to fit in and be a part of.  But the word “God” in the steps is eating their lunch.  And so they are fighting to start a group or a ‘sect’ of AA that isn’t rittled with mentions of God and The Higher Power.

One quote from AAagnostica site is this the  Definition of “Religion”:  “The biggest lie in human history. It has been responsible for more deaths in more wars than any.”

Tom P also wrote:

“Yet, we also want people to discover and embrace their true selves, and for some of us adopting the God of Coincidence, or labeling anything as a “Higher Power,”would be a self-betrayal. I love AA, it saved my life, and I have no Higher Power.”

Tom P. is a physician who spent twenty years working in mental health. Tom sees no evidence that the universe cares whether the Earth or us homo sapiens are here or not, but he also thinks that AA demonstrates the great good humanity can do when we hold hands, unite and take some responsibility for one another.

Tom also says:

“I wish I did not have to talk-around the Higher Power issue when I am sharing in meetings, to hide a part of myself. But then again, it has not been too hard for me to do. I have had a lifetime of practice.”

From the author:

Thanks to everybody for your positive comments. While I go to AA meetings, I actually feel more at home
and nurtured in Al-Anon. Among other things, there is less crosstalk, less fundamentalism, and a better
adherence to the principle of “take what
you want and leave the rest.” I don’t know if it will work for you, but it works for me.

I admit it still stings a little whenever the God issue comes up in meetings.   I have as much a need to belong as anybody does. One has to be careful, as some AAs will prompt you to just ignore feelings like this. Thankfully, I also have Adult Children of Alcoholics, where I can accept my feelings whatever they are, and get to know my true self.

TP

Comment Next comment Chris G on September 27, 2015 at 4:11 pm said: Mostly there is some parroting of “My HP guides me…” and so on, but I don’t engage.

READ ORIGINAL ARTICLE ‘THE GOD OF COINCIDENCE”